How can you tell if you're having a super orgasm?
Your husband wakes up.
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
Nothing is better than Sex. Masturbation is better than Nothing.
Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex.
Why is my penis bigger than yours?
Because I'm jerking off right now.
Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
Sperm is handmade.
What's the difference between purple and pink?
The grip.
Masturbation is cheap, clean, safe and satisfying...
but it's lonely.
If you are right handed and you masturbate with your left for a change,
are you being unfaithful?
You masturbate too much if you can change hands without missing a stroke.
How did Pinnochio discover he was made of wood?
His right hand caught on fire.
What did the horney toad say to the frog.
RUBIT..RUBIT.
What did the seven dwarfs say when the prince wakened Snow White
from her deep sleep?
Well, I guess it's back to jerking off!"
What's the difference between a penis and a magic lanern?
If you rub your dick 3 times, it's not a genie that's going to come.
Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you only have yourself to blame."
What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with it, the harder it gets!
"A man convicted of masturbating in public has recieved a helping
hand from a judge..."
Either the judge is far too close to his work,
or the proofreader isn't.
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